This week a topic of parental concern, that has come up repeatedly over the years is the difficulty of “friend sharing”, or making multiple friends. Making friends is challenging enough for “Twice Exceptional” children*, but sharing the one they’ve made is an additional challenge. Below is a social story written for my Super Pals group. I want to give a shout out to one of my tweens for inventing the character name: “Mayonnaise”.
(Expanding friendship circle, empathy, coping with jealously and anger.)
“No Room for Relish”
By: Charla K. Cunningham
Mayonnaise and Mustard were best friends FOREVER. They did EVERYTHING together: played games, shared birthday parties, raced go carts, built forts. They had been in the same classroom every year since Pre-K, so they played together every recess. They were as close as close can be.
Sadly that all came to an end when Mustard’s family moved across the world to another country. Mustard called it “Oz,” but most people know it as Australia. Mayonnaise wasn’t sure moving to a place called Oz was a good idea. “Isn’t there a witch there, and some scary monkeys?” “That’s a movie, Silly” said Mustard. The other weird thing about Oz was time. They were nearly a whole day ahead of Americans, so Mustard was living somewhere in the future, and it made connecting really hard.
Life without Mustard was super boring, sad, and downright AWFUL. Mayonnaise felt like a part of himself was missing. Not an arm, or a leg, or anything like that, but something inside felt empty. Without a friend, Mayonnaise sat alone at lunch, and played alone at recess. He invented some imaginary friends, but they weren’t as fun as Mustard.
Mayonnaise felt absolutely empty, until Ketchup arrived. Ketchup was sweet, and a little bit spicy. She was bright red, and made up the most fabulous games: “Red light, Green Pickle”, “I Spy Hamburger Style”, and “French Fry Frisbee”. Mayonnaise loved Ketchup so much he practically forgot about Mustard.
Things were really great, and Mayonnaise was so happy, until Relish arrived. Relish had moved from someplace called New York, and he LOVED Ketchup. Relish sat next to Ketchup at every snack break, and every lunch time. Relish was super funny, He made Ketchup laugh so hard she sprayed her lunch all over the cafeteria table. Relish invented games even better than Ketchup, “Pickle Ball”, and “Relish Race Cars”. Ketchup always invited Mayonnaise to play with them, or eat with them, but Mayonnaise was so annoyed by Relish, he refused. Relish was loud, and took up all of Ketchups’ attention. Mayonnaise began to feel so jealous, he sat at another table by himself, pouting. When Ketchup didn’t follow him, it made him even angrier.
After a week of sitting and playing alone, Mayonnaise had enough. He was angry now, and he wanted Ketchup’s attention back, so he decided to destroy any time Ketchup spent with Relish. Mayonnaise moved back to Ketchup’s lunch table, but talked super loud, didn’t let anyone else say anything, made loud fart sounds, and threw food at them while laughing hysterically. “Come on Ketchup” said Relish, “Let’s go eat somewhere else.” Ketchup looked at Mayonnaise with angry eyes, and walked away from him.
When Ketchup and Relish were playing “Hot Dog in the middle” Mayonnaise stole their ball and ran away with it. When Relish lined up in the recess line next to Ketchup, Mayonnaise stomped on his foot. Relish complained to the teacher about Mayonnaise, and the teacher told Mayonnaise she would have to call his parents to take him home early. This made Mayonnaise FURIOUS because all he could do was sit and think about how much fun Ketchup was having with Relish.
The truth is Mayonnaise only had room for one friend. He got exhausted by trying to listen to two different voices and manage two different play partners. He also really missed Mustard and wanted that kind of attention from a friend all to himself. Having another friend meant losing part of what you had when you had a whole friend. Or, at least that’s what Mayonnaise thought.
Mayonnaise returned to school the next day, but Ketchup was nowhere to be found. The teacher said she was out sick. At snack time Mayonnaise noticed Relish sitting alone. “Serves him right” he said. At lunch time he noticed Relish waving him over to his table. “No way” thought Mayonnaise, “I’m not eating with you.” At recess he noticed Relish playing all alone. Again it made him happy, “Fair is Fair” thought Mayonnaise. But suddenly he heard Relish cry out. He turned and saw Sauerkraut squishing Relish up against the playground wall. “There’s no room for you here kid” said Sauerkraut. “Go back to New York!” Mayonnaise saw a big tear run down Relish’s face. He wasn’t sure what happened next, but suddenly he was pulling Sauerkraut off of Relish, “Hey leave him alone you big bully!” All of Mayonnaise’s anger welled up inside of him and he puffed up to twice his size. Sauerkraut took one look at him and ran.
Relish was so relieved he fell on the ground laughing, “Did you see the look on his face! You were amazing!” Suddenly Mayonnaise liked Relish’s loud laugh, and he certainly liked being called “amazing”. “You’re a true friend Mayonnaise” said Relish, “Wait til I tell Ketchup about this.” Mayonnaise and Relish played together the rest of recess, and at the end of it Mayonnaise decided he really did kinda like Relish after all. Maybe there was room for another friend in his life. That way, if either of them were gone or moved away, he would have another friend to be with. It was an insurance policy.
When Ketchup returned to school the next day, she was delighted to see Relish and Mayonnaise had become friends, “The more friends the merrier” is my motto said Ketchup, so when Cheese and Bacon showed up, it was a real party, and Mayonnaise made room for them all.
Disclaimer:
Neither the publisher nor the author are engaged in rendering advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions continued in this blog are not intended as a substitute for consulting with a licensed mental health and or child development advisor. All matters regarding the health and development of your child require professional supervision. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestions in this blog.
*Growing Minds Blog: Neuropsychological Assessment, Consultation and Guidance Service for Children, Adolescents, and Families. "Twice-Exceptional Children: Why Making Friends Is Hard and How to Support Them". Feb. 13, 2020 http://growingmindspsych.com > blog