November is a tough month for many. With Daylight Saving time, comes darkness. Those who suffer from Season Affective Disorder* can find themselves slipping into despair. November also brings on the holiday season with a mixture of feelings about family interactions, social obligations, or painful memories of last year when so many of us had to forgo family traditions, and face unprecedented storms.
Personally, November brings up the death of my Mother, who passed from this lifetime two years ago. And, the birthday of my brother who was tragically killed in a car accident years prior. Something about the air, the light, and the change of season brings to mind ghosts from the past. And so I found myself slipping into a deluge of grief last week. Unexpectedly what jolted me out of it, was the gift of wisdom from an eleven year old client.
Two years ago this child was living a perfectly normal childhood. Now it’s true, all children have lost a “perfectly normal childhood” the past two years due to the worldwide Pandemic facing us. But in addition to COVID, this child was diagnosed with a chronic disease. The disease requires constant monitoring, medications, invasive procedures, sporadic hospitalizations, dietary restrictions, and an unknown future. He is not able to enjoy something as common place as a birthday party with pizza and ice cream, or a class party with cupcakes, because of life threatening food sensitivities. He wondered aloud why this had happened to him, and teared at the notion of a lifetime void of a “normal childhood” with its promise of good health, and simple joys.
I realized as I joined this child in his grief, I had lived an entire childhood and adulthood enjoying life in a way this child never would. His burden illustrated the ease of my own existence in a way I had never contemplated. His pain illuminated joyful aspects of my life I had taken for granted.
We all can only experience life, with its myriad of ups and downs, from our own perspectives. But instead of dwelling on what we have lost, it can be enlightening to take a moment to be mindful of what we have that we never even realized gives us pleasure.
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Disclaimer:
Neither the publisher nor the author are engaged in rendering advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions continued in this blog are not intended as a substitute for consulting with a licensed mental health and or child development advisor. All matters regarding the health and development of your child require professional supervision. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestions in this blog.
*Stuart L. Kulansik & Ibay, Annamarie D. “Seasonal affective disorder.” American family physicians 86 (11), 1037-1041, 2012. http://aafp.org